Roses are
red, violets are blue.
Al Gore's out of work, and so are you.
Your writing
was great!
Such a way with cards!
Now please leave quietly
Or we'll call the guards.
We all know
that you're valuable,
You do so many things,
But we found someone for half your pay
With dreads and eyebrow rings.
Your poems
were sublime!
Your work left us gaspin'!
But the prez wants to build
A new condo in Aspen!
Roses are
red, violets are blue.
I wouldn't get sick, if I were you:
You've lost your job, and your insurance, too.
Get Re-employed
Soon!
We realize
that on this solemn day,
A part of our company goes with you.
We strongly suggest that you put it back.
Signed, the guys in Security.
Don't think
of it as getting older.
Think of it as dying penniless
after a meal of Alpo on toast.
You are
invited to a layoff!
Date: Today
From: Management
For: Restructuring
Bring: Your belongings
During your
times of suffering,
when you could see
only one set of footprints,
it was then that you had
your feet on the desk
and your lazy ass was playing
Minesweeper.
At writing
cute poems,
you were the bomb,
But now we suggest:
monster.com.
We hope this
friendly greeting card
Will ease your post-job tension,
At least until you find that we
Have pissed away your pension.
In order to
replace your work,
We'll have to count on Tom.
We're sure that he can handle
Surfing redhotbuns.com
Your work
was really wonderful,
But we have to boost our stock.
We're really sad to see you go --
Please don't rampage with your Glock.
You've been
a great employee,
So diligent and true.
But there is no "i" in "our
team,"
And now there is no "u."
